Saturday, 23 April 2016

E-Cig Junkies...

They're e-cig junkies

You can't mistake 'em

Cheeks sucked in

Dragging on the vapour

Knuckles white

Clutching at the stick

Savouring the flavour

Of the e-cig hit

They're e-cig junkies

No fags for them

No tobacco that'll knacker lungs

Or cave their arteries in

Just misty pockets

Of their exhaled plumes

Pouring their miasma

Over others in the room

They're e-cig junkies

And they don't give a shit

Restrictive signs don't phase 'em

They're too easy to outwit

With a wily pull 

And a surreptitious drag

Whilst pretending to themselves

They're really glad they quit the fags.

They're e-cig junkies

On a fume and fibre diet

Strawberry puffs of jam doughnuts

It's a perfume puffing riot!

But no complaining whilst they're Vaping 

That their scents make you feel sick

'Cos they'll poke you in the eye

With their therapeutic stick!

They're e-cig junkies

And they'll tell you that it's great

To feel the cleansing properties

Of all that they inhale

So they Vape with pride

Bad stuff expunged

But aren't they really swapping tar

For water on the lungs?

Poem only © Copyright Lynn Gerrard 


  1. Oooh, I love the sting in this one's tale ;) Excellent!

    1. Thanks Val....I bet there's a few 'vapers' shaking their sticks at me out there haha! ;)

  2. Quite! I told you, I caught Little G 'vaping' with a straw.... they are setting a bad example to kids!!! And it looks so silly...

    1. From my personal observations people seem to cling hold of these more desperately than one would a raft at sea!!

  3. Yep you're dead right. We do cling hold of them more desperately than ever the real thing. They're useless as a replacement for real cigs. 3 miserable desperate years since I had a proper cigarette. Alternating between nicotine lozenges and mostly burnt disgusting e fluid that tastes like burnt diesel, certainly not strawberry flavoured - I wish. Relying on market stall holders for our desperate fix. Junk made in China, unreliable, inconsistent junk. But we're hooked, yes we're junkies. Sad and desperate. But at least we admit it. We don't say like the obese, its not my fault I'm fat, we don't deny like the 2 glasses of wine a night executive oh I need this to relax, I'm not an alcoholic. We admit it - we're hooked. Just can't ditch the nicotine, holds us as slaves one way or another and it certainly isn't fun! Don't judge until you've walked a mile in that persons shoes.

    1. Many thanks for your comment. It's over 8 years since I last had a fag....and I still covertly sniff smokers in the street every now and then, for a sly passive drag... :)

  4. From ciggies there is no escape
    Nicotine's a drag
    They tell you that it's cool to vape
    In truth it's just a phag
    Great idea there Lynn and I loved your poem :-)

  5. Hahaaaa! I think Mr. Whiskers is vaping a bong!

  6. Well put ;-) Let them eat vape..

    1. Hahaha! Thank you, wish I;d thought of that line! :)