I'd like to make a public apology to the sales person I encountered whilst shopping earlier, for my behaviour. Had I known that you were taking part in some kind of sleep study as you stood there, propping up that shelf, I'd never have approached you so brazenly to enquire as to the location of the particular items I required. My God!! What was I thinking? And, oh, the shame that overwhelms me when I consider how, despite my callous and selfish attitude, you still managed to raise your 'customer service' finger to point in the general direction of the area where my wants could be found. Managerial promotion is in the pipeline for you, methinks! I'm certain that had I been able to actually see through the several stock-littered aisles which separated the goods from the directions your digit was alluding to, I'd have reached them much more quickly but this was not the case. Once again I had let you down by my failing to study the shop floor plan before actually entering the premises.
