Saturday, 12 January 2013

A True Tale of a Spooky Peculiar Something...

Today I thought I'd share with you a true tale of a peculiar something that happened to me many years ago when I stayed at my MG's ...(Mother Gargoyle)... house overnight, after popping in for a quick visit earlier in the day. 

At that time I was expecting my first womb squatter...(or 'child' as some prefer to call them *shudder*)...and given circumstance had left me with no other plans that evening, I readily accepted my Mother's invitation to stay over. Not just 'cos she's a great cook but because she's good company too, lively, funny, crazy and a great cook...did I mention she's a great cook?

Anyway, outside the night was cold and miserable but inside, near the roaring fire, sitting with a steaming mug of hot chocolate between our hands me and my Mum were cosy...(though I never understood why we didn't each have a mug!). 

Gradually, as the evening wore on, the heat from the fire and the general ambience of snug began to take effect and soon we were ready for sleep. 

My Mum had offered me the spare room but in there there lurked a gargantuan chest freezer which held within its maw the remains of a cryonically suspended herd of cattle which she'd purchased from the local abattoir at a discount...and the motor had a strange hum to it that could easily be mistaken for muffled I declined. 

Mother then suggested I sleep in bed with her's the thing. We are each entitled to our own little foibles and I respect this, however, my Mother's foible was to sleep in a cat suit so she'd look presentable should someone break into the house! 

Yep! That's what she did, I jest ye not!

Don't misunderstand, she wasn't dressed as if she was auditioning for a part in a Batman was an all in one trouser suit thing, you know, the kind of outfit you'd expect if  Coco Chanel did Onesies.

With it she wore a headscarf to keep her hair neat AND upon her lips she wore a subtle shade of salmon pink lipstick ( smudge proof )!

Don't know about you but I've yet to see a crime report proclaiming 'Burglars outrage at facing unkempt female!...."We're scarred...we may never burgle again"...lamented Slasher Smith'...

Regardless, I simply couldn't face that sight so I very happily settled for the couch, falling instantly asleep.

In the early hours of the morning I was awakened by the pronounced chill in the air. The only illumination came from the window facing me through which, amidst a subtle glow, the moon cast silvery shadows around the room. Gradually I became aware of a slight movement by the couch near my feet. 

I squinted my eyes to make more sense of what I was seeing. 

With disbelief, I witnessed a twist of mist slowly forming from the floor towards the ceiling...narrow at the base and a shoulder span in width!

Silent, scentless...just there! I was absolutely frozen not with fear...with incredulity....FEAR came shortly after when the wispy shape of a  horses head started to nose its way out of the wall!!

Never have I moved as fast as I did that night...and as an ex dancer and school Games captain, ( back in the day ), ...that's saying something! 

Sprinting up the stairs, I charged into my Mother's bedroom....gasping for breath but still functioning enough to notice that she lay sleeping, perfectly centralised upon the bed, arms folded like some funereal sculpture...scarf neatly in suit unruffled...lipstick un-smudged.. 

"Mum" response.

"Mum"...still nothing.


"Uhh? Wa...whosat...wassup??"...unconsciously her hands were checking out her dress status for neatness...( just in case I was a burglar )...then mild panic entered her voice as sleep began to melt away...

"Lynn! You ok?"

"Mum...there's a horse in the living room"


"There's a HORSE in the living room!"..I repeated, aware of how mad this must sound...but not really caring!

"Oh right"..she said, in the same casually accepting tone she used when the local shop was out of bread...."I'll get the torch"

Now then...I was so relieved to get any reaction from her it didn't cross my mind to question why we would need a torch. It was an average sized two bedroomed house...with electricity...and if a horse was lurking in there...we'd know!

But downstairs we went...Mother in Ninja mode...torch in hunting.

It wasn't there, quelle surprise, but still Mother continued to check every nook and cranny of the place as calmly and as casually as you would search for misplaced reading fact she'd be more frantic had that been the case! 

Well, I wasn't going to risk another visitation by the ghost of Mister Ed...( any child of the late 50's 60's will know what I'm talking about here) I succumbed to Mothers suggestion and climbed into bed with her...resplendent, as she was, in her burglar friendly attire. 

The rest of the night remained uneventful, apart from the contented snores of Mother who had resumed the rigid, centralised position of her perfectly neat and tidy slumbers. 

The following morning, as I enjoyed a breakfast of pickled red cabbage on toast, ( it was a craving thing ), we went over the nights events. Without a doubt I had seen what I had seen, the twirling smoky mist and the wispy horses head coming through the wall. 
I knew the houses in the area had been built post World War 2, having been fields prior to that but I didn't know much else of the area's history, so I remained without answers.

Mother insisted that whilst she believed me she'd never had any such experience in the house but then she'd never spent a night on the couch. She couldn't provide answers either but she did offer to investigate further by asking 'Maureen'. 

"Who's Maureen?" ask...So did I! 

"Maureen from next door... there's a good chance she'll know what it was all about"

I perked at this information, thinking that Maureen must be some kind of psychic or at least have further historical knowledge of the area. I couldn't wait to find out more!

"It makes sense really"...continued Mother.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if the head was sticking out of my wall...then the other end must have been sticking out of Maureen's wall!"

I never did get to the bottom of it all. All Mother said was that nothing came of her asking Maureen other than she'd stopped popping round for a coffee and tended to avoid eye contact in the street. 

Maybe if I'd spent another night there I'd have been able to find out...straight from the horses mouth...who knows?

©  Copyright Lynn Gerrard 


  1. Interesting. What was in the cocoa? Just kidding.

    An out of body experience? A one off hallucination? God reminding you of his omnipotence? Who can say!

    Seriously, I think you have a marvellous way with words Lynn. I know going in that I'm going to enjoy your use of language. Quite fun. Thanks yet again for making my day lighter.

  2. I come from a family where the supernatural was ..well..natural really...but that's probably 'cos we're Thanks as always for your support Hap...means a lot...:)

  3. Seriously? Hahaha. You do tell a great story. Enjoyed this - particularly the opening....

  4. Yep...apart from a few tweaks for comedic value all's true....especially Mother in the cat suit..( she still does this...but it's a rather fetching silk outfit now )...:)

  5. Interesting story Lynn - but a horses head! That would have had me running down the street, as horses although ok, freak me out if they look at me...they have eyes that bore into your very soul! Anyway, hmm, have you done any research on the area since now that the squatters have gone? Really great read...can't wait for more!

    1. I have this image now of horse staring at you giving you evils!...hahaha!... Truth is my entire family is cloaked in this kind of weird stuff. Paternal Grandmother was a Spiritualist and maternal Granny was a feisty little Irish woman with great stories of the supernatural..mostly of what she'd seen and in the house we lived in! It's my intention to share the rest of the 'peculiar'in blog one day!..Thanks for comments Kate..really matters to me...hope you've not fallen asleep!

  6. I've been lurking around your blog for a while. I may have commented once. But I'm mostly silent.

    This story is wonderfully written. I love the way you weave words.
    So from one weirdo to another: Bravo!

    1. Thank you so very much for the kind words!...I shall certainly enjoy the notion of a fellow weirdo lurking in my Gargoylian're always welcome...;)

  7. Bev said :I should have known you had to be related to an evil genius! Your mum is responsible for starting this 'onesie' trend! The horror!

    (This story made me laugh though! What weird 'neigh'bours your mum must have...boom, boom!)

    1. Haha! Never thought of it like that're right!..My Mother DID invent the 'Onsie'!! lol...... ( She's also responsible for my neurosis...;)

    2. Must echo the sentiments of others. It would have been a great story on its own but your style adds a lot of flair and makes it that much better (I'm mentally trying to determine how much 'that much' is, hehe.. I do wonder if there's a rider in the wall somewhere, or a poor farmer trying to pull the horse out.

    3. Haha!....It has been suggested it could have been Shergar... however I shot off at such speed I didn't have time to determine whether or not there was a jockey straddling it!...hehe!...Thanks again for comments...they really do make a difference to my mind set.....:D

  8. Great story, Lynn! I got a good laugh. Keep writing, as we all enjoy your work :)

    1. Thanks're a huge boost to my confidence...x

  9. I'd love to meet your Mum Lynn. She sounds unique and it's good to know that it's worth dressing up for would-be burglars. Maybe her theory was that if they couldn't take their eyes off her they'd take less of her stuff! If you also offered them red cabbage on toast I have the strong feeling they'd never come back...Thanks for a ticklish read. You have a way with descriptions that defy description, ha ha ha! Lovely! Made my Sunday! xxx

    1. Hahaha! Your comments make me laugh, Cathy, thank you!...I'll pass your regards to my mum...she'll be so chuffed!...:) xx